Powers in the Attic
by V.E. London
Summary: The Oracle and Serif want some time alone, but Neo and Morpheus keep bothering them, so they come up with a plan. However, it goes horribly wrong when Agent Smith and G7865B show up. My sister helped with it, mention her in reviews. Rated PG for language.


The Matrix Reloaded, The Matrix, and all related media, characters, and stories are copyright 1999-2003 AOL Time Warner and Village Roadshow Pictures. The transcript below contains parts of a script written by the Wachowski brothers. This transcript is provided for fans' enjoyment and reference and does not intend copyright infringement. The entire content of this transcript is property of Larry and Andy Wachowski, AOL Time Warner, and Village Roadshow Pictures. No claim is lain on the ownership of the words contained within this transcript on the part of me (V.E. London)  
  
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Powers In The Attic  
  
The Oracle: So, what are you doing later?  
  
Seraph: Oh, nothing much. I just thought I would watch some TV. There's a movie on tonight.   
  
The Oracle: A porno I hope.  
  
Seraph: (blushes) actually, it is  
  
The Oracle: (gets a little closer) maybe I could watch it with you  
  
Seraph: (as seductively as he can) I'd love that.   
  
Neo: What are you guys doing?  
  
The Oracle: Neo, wh-what are you doing here? I didn't send for you!  
  
Morpheus: We wanted to talk to you about something.  
  
The Oracle: (whispers to Serif) I thought you said no one would find us in here?  
  
Seraph: (whispers back) Well, I didn't think anyone would.  
  
The Oracle: Well, you both need to leave. Now. We have important plans for later this evening.  
  
Neo: Does the fate of the world depend on those plans?  
  
The Oracle: Well, um, sure. Why not.  
  
Morpheus: What is it?  
  
Seraph: Boy you two are nosy.  
  
Morpheus: I didn't ask you, Serif. Go find a quiet corner somewhere and stand there, okay?   
  
Seraph: Grumbles insults about Morpheus under his breath  
  
Neo: We aren't leaving until you tell us what you're doing.  
  
The Oracle: (starts forming a plan) well… then I would like you both to do a very important mission for me. It's upstairs, in… THE ATTIC!  
  
Morpheus: What do you want us to do?  
  
The Oracle: Um, go up there, and, you'll find a… a door. A door. A door of, um, wood. Open the door and both of you need to go inside. There are answers in there to questions both of you have been harboring for a long time.  
  
Neo: You mean I'll finally get to know what sex Trinity actually is?  
  
The Oracle: (Exchanges looks with Seraph) uh, sure.   
  
Neo: Cool! Finally. Man, I hope I'm not gay.   
  
Morpheus: Come on Neo, lets go.  
  
They both walk the stairs up to the attic. They open the "door of wood" and step inside. It is only an attic, but a creepy one.   
  
Neo: I thought it would look different  
  
Morpheus: Lets not question the prophecy  
  
Suddenly, one of the other doors to the attic swings open and Agent Smith pops out.   
  
Neo: Whoa, what are you doing here?  
  
Agent Smith: I am here to kill you, Mister Anderson.   
  
Morpheus: Well, I think you two have some things to discuss. I'll just be leaving…  
  
Just as Morpheus was about to go out the door, it slammed shut in his face. And locked. And turned into a solid brick wall. The same goes for the door that Agent Smith came through.   
  
Neo: Oh god!  
  
Agent Smith: What's going on here?  
  
Morpheus: Help us! Help us! Oracle, Serif!?!?   
  
Meanwhile, back downstairs with The Oracle and Serif…  
  
Seraph: Wow, that was a great trick. You had them fooled. All the answers to your questions will be answered. Classic! But, you didn't block up the window? How do you know they won't just escape that way?  
  
The Oracle: No, stupid. If they went through the window then the story would be over before it even began. They won't go through the window.  
  
Seraph: Oh.   
  
The Oracle: And now we can get down to serious business. Or at least, just get down. Did you bring the Dance Dance Revolution game?   
  
Seraph: Of course. But, didn't you want to watch the porno?  
  
The Oracle: Oh yeah, porno first, sex second and dancing last.  
  
Seraph: We always do dancing last. Can't we have sex last?  
  
The Oracle: I don't want to have sex last. How about we have sex first, then dance and then watch the porno?  
  
Seraph: Great idea! Oh, wait, I didn't rent the video. It's just on TV. We'll miss part of it.   
  
The Oracle: I'm the Oracle. I'll just make it so that we can watch it whenever we want.  
  
Seraph: Wow, you have so many powers! I didn't know that you can control the TV.  
  
The Oracle: I can't, but what's to stop us from going down to that adult video store and just buying a porno?  
  
Seraph: Good idea!  
  
In the attic…  
  
Agent Smith: It's the smell…  
  
Neo: Will you shut up already!?!?! You're driving me mad, that's the 27th time you've said that!!! STOP IT!!  
  
Agent Smith: (Lies down and curls up in a fetal position and breathes through his mouth)  
  
Morpheus: We have to get out of here!  
  
Neo: Well, there is no way out of here!  
  
Morpheus: Well shouting at me isn't going to help!  
  
Neo: Well you're the one who started it!  
  
They hear Agent Smith giggle. Both Neo and Morpheus turn in surprise to see that Agent Smith is playing with a rat.  
  
Morpheus: What are you doing?  
  
Agent Smith: I found this rat. He doesn't stink like you humans.  
  
Neo: Doesn't he stink like a rat? Isn't that worse?  
  
Agent Smith: (silent, while apparently thinking)   
  
After about 20 minutes of silence, Agent Smith speaks.  
  
Agent Smith: I've named him G78654B after a good friend of mine when I was an agent.  
  
Neo: Didn't agents have normal names, like Jones and stuff?  
  
Agent Smith: Jones was an ass hole. And only the main agents had real names. All of the others didn't.  
  
Morpheus: (sarcastically) you must be so special.  
  
Neo: Are those cookies?  
  
Morpheus: Why, yes, they are. Where do you think they came from?  
  
Neo: I don't know, but I'm too hungry to care.  
  
Neo and Morpheus dig in to the cookies. Agent Smith just watches them while stroking G78654B. Suddenly he goes over to the plate where there is only one cookie remaining.  
  
Agent Smith: Well, it looks like it's good bye to you, Mister Anderson, yet again.  
  
Neo: (very full) what's that supposed to mean?  
  
Agent Smith: The cookies you have just consumed mass quantities of were laced with a toxin known as anthrax.   
  
Neo: (with what he thought was powdered sugar all over his face and some cookie remnants hanging out of his mouth) Wha?  
  
Morpheus: Oh, god, my stomach.   
  
Agent Smith: G78654B and I are going to go and make sweet love now.   
  
Neo: What!?  
  
Agent Smith: We love each other, and we're going to get married as soon as we are out of here. However, we've agreed that we don't have to wait till the wedding night.   
  
Morpheus: Now I am going to be sick.   
  
Neo: At least we're going to die, so we don't have to remember that.   
  
What feels like forever passes by. The Oracle and Serif are done and come up to the attic to "rescue" Neo and Morpheus. They didn't know that Agent Smith had gotten in.   
  
The Oracle: Okay, we got the doors open now, OH MY SWEET JESUS!  
  
Seraph: What, oh my god!   
  
We see Morpheus foaming at the mouth lying on his back, dead. Neo is sitting slumped in a chair and he looks terrible. We also see Agent Smith smoking a cigarette lying naked on the floor next to a rat.   
  
The Oracle: What happened here? How did you get in?  
  
Agent Smith: The door.   
  
Seraph: God, what the hell happened to Morpheus?  
  
Neo: (in a deep and scary convictive voice) The cookies, mother. There was the poison in the cookies. You left us here to dye! It's been days and you haven't fed us!  
  
The Oracle: Mother?   
  
Seraph: Oh man, they went crazy.  
  
The Oracle: Guys, it's only been 30 minutes, 45 tops.   
  
Agent Smith: That doesn't seem like a lot of time unless you look at it like this:   
  
30 minutes, 45 tops!  
  
The Oracle: What?  
  
Agent Smith: Oh, you couldn't see the text to this, but it makes perfect sense. Sort of.   
  
Seraph: Okay…  
  
Neo: Why did you try and poison us, mother?  
  
The Oracle: Okay, this is getting a little freaky. I never tried to poison you.  
  
Neo: The cookies… We know what you put in the cookies. It was anthrax.  
  
The Oracle: The only drug I put in those cookies was TLC.   
  
Neo: Is that a hallucinogen?  
  
Seraph: (shakes his head)  
  
The Oracle: No, Neo, and it can't kill people. Now what happened to Morpheus?  
  
Agent Smith: hahahahahahah! What you believe to be true is! Morpheus believed that he was poisoned, and now he's dead. Now, I have a wedding to get to, so if you'll excuse me…  
  
Agent Smith and G78654B were married a few days later. They had a beautiful reception. They asked Neo to be the best man, but he declined, so they asked Trinity, who accepted. Morpheus was buried in a grave yard in the real world in the same place that they buried Tank, Dozer, Switch, and Trinity's true identity. Neo was never the same after that, he was left forever dazed and mentally abused from the experience. The Oracle and Seraph felt really bad, and they said that they were sorry, but Neo never talked to them again. In fact, he didn't really talk to anyone every again.   
  
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End file.
